Answers to question(naire)s

I admit it: I lifted this variation on the Proust questionnaire from the New Yorker’s Richard Brody (who lifted it from Libération film critic Didier Péron). Nevertheless, this struck me as a set of questions worth taking the time to answer.

The first image?

Dinosaur Bob by William Joyce (the children’s author, not the fascist).

The film (or the scene) that traumatized your childhood?

I’ve always been extraordinarily sensitive to horror films, so maybe Kubrick’s The Shining, which, I remain convinced, is the most horrifying film a 12-year-old could possibly see.

The movie your parents prevented you from seeing?

Can’t really recall any. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Your fetish scene:

The final scene of Stroszek, dancing chicken and all.

You’re directing a remake. Which one?

Antonioni’s L’avventura (it’d be a very, very loose remake).

What makes you laugh?

Groucho Marx.

Your life becomes a bio-pic. Who plays the role of you? And who directs?

I’d be played by a non-professional whom nobody’s ever heard of. The film would be directed by Robert Bresson until he’d quit the production due to the general incompetence of the cast and crew (especially the scatterbrained script supervisor, who’d be me); the production would then be finished under the direction of Rainer Werner Fassbinder (not much of a drop-off, if any, in terms of vision).

A film that makes you say “Never again!”

All so-called “torture porn” horror films.

The character who most sets you dreaming.

Paul (Jean-Pierre Léaud) from Masculin féminin.

The absolute filmmaker, in your eyes?

Agnès Varda. Actually, on second thought: Sergei Eisenstein.

The actor or actress you’d like to have been.

Late-1940s Orson Welles.

The last film you saw? With whom? How was it?

Howard Hawks’ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, all by my lonesome, and one could say that it successfully performed the job I assigned it.

If you were to adapt a book?

Arthur Rimbaud’s Illuminations, on a shoestring budget.

The craziest thing you’ve seen on the Internet?

Hmm… maybe Werner Herzog becoming the victim of an air-rifle drive-by while giving an interview.

If someone called you a cinephile, how would you react?

I guess I wouldn’t be able to deny it.

DVD or more-or-less-legal downloading?

In theory: downloading. In practice: DVD.

The masterpiece that everyone talks to you about but that you’ve never managed to see.

Hundreds of films would work here but since I wrote about it just last week: Jacques Rivette’s Out 1, noli me tangere.

The last image?

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One Response to “Answers to question(naire)s”

  1. Kenneth Burns Says:

    “The movie your parents prevented you from seeing?”

    Would you believe Mom wouldn’t let me watch Mommie Dearest when I was 10? True story.

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